Disabled, Limited, Weak, or Handicapped?

Chances are you or someone you care about has been identified as disabled, limited, weak, or handicapped. When this happens, there is a temptation to seek help or to ask for accommodations. This is because such a label can lead a person to believe that they are not equal in ability or value as others in society.

If one accepts this evaluation, limitations can be numerous and the person may rely on others unnecessarily. In some cases, they believe their ability to learn is limited, their mobility curtailed, or they see themselves in a negative light. They may believe others need to help them because they see themselves in a weakened state.

The tragic part of this is that often this is only a state of mind. It is a learned way of thinking. A person with Parkinson's disease may truly have limitations beyond his control. In other cases, he may respond as the actor Michael Fox, who has decided to fight with all his might. He finds it difficult to find a regular role on TV so he is going to play a role of a father with Parkinson's disease. He is going to time the taking of his medicines so that he can work. He refuses to give up.

The late Ben Underwood was blinded by cancer at a young age, but he didn't let that slow him down. (http://www.benunderwood.com/aboutme.html) He used echolocation to do all the things that other teenagers did: sports, video games, riding bikes, skating, and climbing trees,
Another person that didn't let his disability ruin his life is Nick Vujicic. How does Nick feel about not having arms or legs? He accepts it, embraces it, and oftentimes pokes fun at his own circumstance. Nick is a motivational speaker and author. You can read more about his life at the following link: http://www.attitudeisaltitude.com/aboutus-nick.php

Bob had a dyslexic daughter who was placed in learning disability classes in public school for six years. Eventually she attended a private school that matched the learning needs of their students. This young lady was so determined to succeed that she would often study until early hours of the morning. She was passionate about achieving and becoming a teacher of students who had trouble learning. Sheer determination and passion made it possible for Emily to reach her goal.

Emily graduated from college, passed the state teachers exams, and began teaching in a public school system. What some see as roadblocks, others see as challenges.
 

Then, one-report states there are about 5.7 million people who have Bi-Polar disorders. They can give up, do very little, or challenge this disorder. Some make excuses for their behavior and want others to make accommodations. However, the best response is for the person with the disorder is to attack it head on by learning how to live with it. Read as many self-help books as possible. Be determined to live the best life possible and have hope that there is an answer for their particular version of the disorder.

You have to believe that the solution lies in diet, psychology, medicine, exercise, meditation, religion, or some combination of these. Hope, attitude, and passion for living are keys to managing the disorder. Expecting others to compensate for oone's negative feelings, thoughts, or actions is detrimental to an attitude that leads to achieving goals. Intelligent, active, and positive friends can also be a boost as one strives to defeat this demon. Since we become like the average of the people with whom we spend the most time, building positive relationships can make dramatic changes in our lives.

Seldom does one live with a dark cloud all the time. There are usually moments when the sun shines through and there is the realization that struggles are just part of life. In fact, struggles help us appreciate the blessings. 

It is important to have goals and to keep working toward achieving them. Have hope. Remember that God has promised us peace. People, circumstances, and events try to take the peace but we must not give it away. Continually remind yourself that that only you can give your peace away. This part of the life's struggle is not easy but it is important. The process and the results can eventually make our heart sing.

Selling Insurance During the Holidays

Television and ads people receive by mail are concentrating on Medicare. The deadline is near. The people in this age bracket are getting a lot attention from a lot of salesmen. That means that one has to double their efforts using sound leads, making more calls, following up with current clients and using other strategies that have worked in the past.

Some of us think that insurance and investments is the last thing on peoples' minds during the holidays. However, it is not true. Life is still going on. Long Term Care Insurance needs attention while people are still healthy. Others need to make changes in investments due to inheritances, annuities maturing, changes in jobs and changes within the family.

In other situations, people just need to be educated on the importance of different investments and insurance. Therefore, there is a lot to do.
I know you have heard it all before. The reason you have heard it is that there is nothing new under the sun. Everything is only repackaged or reworded. However, here is the current holiday package:

·         Set Clear Measurable Goals for each day

·         Number of Contacts

·         Kinds of Contacts (Health, Annuity, Life, LTC, etc.) 

·         In office Work

·         Research – Possible Contacts

·         LinkedIn, Facebook, etc. Updates

·         Develop Information for Print Ads

·         Take Potential Clients for Coffee

·         Expect Success!

Living in Problematic Times

You can run but you cannot hide.

When we face difficult situations, we can run, fight, get depressed, or eat chocolate. It is the way we are designed. When we cannot fight, we try to change the situation or the people involved. I'm sure you know how that works out. People usually do not change. If we fight, we usually get bruises. If we run, we find that we are very tired and wondering what in the world happened. I will be the first to admit that some situations, such as abuse, require running. Even then, the main thing required is working on oneself.
Therefore, if I want change, what do I do? I must remember that God has given me peace.
John 14:27 – "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you."

Therefore, I need to be sure I do not give it away. I also need to be the best that I can be. Common sense tells me to exercise, eat right, take my vitamins, get adequate sleep, and follow my dreams (have goals). If I do these things, I believe I will be able to manage the issues with which I am faced. After all, I am the only person I can change.

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There's Still Magic in the Journey

If we decide to do so, we can enjoy the magic of life's journey no matter which path we are traveling. I frequently mention Robert Frost and his famous poem The Road Not Taken. I do so because the first phrase presents a desire of many. We frequently face two or more good options and want to do them both. Choosing the best one for a particular time is a good dilemma.

            "Roads diverged in a yellow wood,
            And sorry I could not travel both
            And be one traveler," ...

All we can do is choose the road that seems the most appropriate.  Perhaps another road can be accommodated as a hobby or followed more fully at a later time. Wasting time on regret does not seem like a good idea.

A character in Eric Van Lustbader's new book, "The Bourne Imperative" gives another perspective. He says life guides and teaches lessons needed to survive and prosper. However, in order to learn these lessons, we need to get rid of pride.  We have to accept obstacles, to find the way through the obstacles rather than turning away from them. (Lustbader, 2012) Pride is probably mentioned because it can block our hearts and minds from considering advice and suggestions.

If we can follow the guide and learn these lessons, our number of regrets is minimal. However, we are changed by the experiences and can expect to find additional paths as we continue our journey. Sometimes fear causes us to choose the path of least resistance. If we do take the easy path, guilt and regret may kick in and we begin berating ourselves for making poor choices. This is when we need to be gentler with ourselves.

If it is too late to reverse the decision, calm down. A short walk in a park or quiet time in nature is often a good antidote. Just remember, an alternate path also can be rewarding. Try to determine what can be learned from this experience. It is still possible to enjoy today and anticipate tomorrow.

By enjoying today, those with whom you meet will sense your happiness and learn to appreciate their journey too.

Remember, we are here for a reason. Most people are born with a sense of what that reason is and are good at finding their way. Some of us have to work a little harder to make sure we are on the right path. However, that work is rewarding too because we learn a lot in the process.

Working with Anger

Yesterday I wrote about the effects exercise has on mood. (see “Keep Karma in Mind”)
Today I awoke angry. Since I live alone I had no one to yell at and no pet to kick, if I was so inclined. So I just seethed at Eric Baldwin, Charlie Sheen, overpaid football coaches and anybody who has been unfortunate enough to catch the attention of our national news media.

This internal ranting and raving continued for about thirty minutes. Then, my right palm came directly at my forehead and hit with a resounding splat. Wow!

Inner Voice: “Hey! You wrote about this Yesterday.”) “You are not a slow learner.”
Me: “No. I’m not a slow learner.” However, I have some habits that need to be modified.”
Inner Voice: “Well, think about what you wrote yesterday.”

I did. I followed my own instructions and as the research suggests, it worked. After a few minutes of “walking in the park,” my mood changed, even without the “kiss in the dark.” I challenge you to try it. I think you will like the results.                 
Note: If you enjoy my musings, please repost and/or share the blog address with friends.

Keep Karma in Mind

          There is a song lyric that reminds me that happiness comes from a walk in the park and a kiss in the dark. This song’s theory is reinforced by the research in the journal Environmental Health and Technology. Even if you spend five minutes enjoying Mother Nature it can improve your mood and sense of well-being. www.scientificamerican.com. (May 5, 2010)   Adding a kiss is just a bonus, if you are with the right person. Now add fifteen or twenty minutes of brisk walking and physical health is improved too.
    
           These are just two of many things that can help promote happiness.  However, as fun as it may be, you cannot kiss and walk all the time. So, I needed to add some ideas. When I discovered that several famous writers were saying that we tend to become like the people we spend the most time with, I became a little more selective about my friends. That was a huge help. However the “big” idea that I thought was so brilliant was not original. Like many good ideas in the universe they are there for all of us to grasp.

Before I tell you this great life changing idea, I will preface it by saying that it would be easy to list a dozen reasons why I should be depressed and angry with specific individuals, including myself.  In fact, I could get doctors and friends to agree with me and at different times have been encouraged by well-meaning people to be mean spirited. But returning evil for evil benefits nobody neither in the short term nor the long term. Karma, “action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad … in this life …” (dictionary.com) comes into play.
  
So, what was the life changing idea? Abraham Lincoln is given credit for saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”   That is what I decided to do several months ago. I made up my mind to enjoy today and anticipate tomorrow. After all, most of the things that seemed to be making other people unhappy were things for which they had no control.
One of the major things I began to notice was that I had so much for which to be thankful. My illnesses and troubles are often easier to manage than those of people with whom I came in to contact. Apostle Paul reminded us in about 54 AD (1 Corinthians 10:13), that we will not be given more than we can manage. Therefore, I can still enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow.

Am I an Effective Listener?

I am a listener…..learning to be an effective listener.  I enjoy hearing others talk about their journey.  I enjoy this for several reasons. First, it is often enjoyable or therapeutic for the speaker. Next, hearing someone’s story helps me understand my journey.

I used to think listening was easy. Everyone thinks they can do it. However, effective listening  requires paying attention to the speaker and trying to understand their point of view.  It also requires appropriate feedback. Feedback includes questions for clarification and comments that let the speaker know you understand their comments and emotions. These skills need to be learned and practiced regularly.

Listening is usually enjoyable but difficult when people want to share negative or difficult parts of their journey. At these times, I try to say little and use nonverbal communication to show I am listening. During these times it is also better if I do not offer advice. The person sharing is smart enough to determine what is best. They usually just need someone to be a confidante.

One other rule that I try to keep in mind is that clichés are not to be used. Like advice, they only have a negative effect. How often have you heard someone say, "I know just how you feel!" Of course when we think about this, we can never know how someone feels. We can only empathize with them. Empathy is important. Sympathy is to be avoided also. When I empathize with someone, I walk beside them; I do not try to carry their burden.

As you can see, this listening is rather involved but valuable. There are many books written the subject. If you would like to discuss it, please feel free to email me or make comments.

Do Something

                When faced with a dilemma, Pastor Chris’ advice seems appropriate: “Do something.” If nothing else comes to mind, I think it is okay to “tune in” to Philippians 4 which reminds us to think on “these things.”  Paul and Timothy suggested we be thankful for current blessings.  Their followers were told to think about things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy.
                In addition, think about things received, learned, heard and seen that gave enjoyment. By doing this, we make room for peace and form a sound foundation for resolving problems.
                Jim Rohn and other “experts” believe we tend to become the average of the people with whom we spend the most time.  So, cultivating friendships with people who have creative, intelligent, wholesome, active lifestyles is just common sense.
                Looking at life through this kaleidoscope makes a person feel younger and think more positively.  You will also enrich the lives of those with whom you come in contact.  If you seek to extend you sphere of influence, your spirit will see more opportunities. Today there are many opportunities to share, even if you are homebound. If you desire to write, paint, or sing, mainly for your own enjoyment, do so. That is the main reason I write. However, I usually post my writings on my blog. It is a good place to park my thoughts. I also like to check the stats from time to time. It is interesting to see in what states readers live. Maybe a reader from another country will find me sometime.

Ups and Downs of Life

The blessings and trials are reminders that time waits for none of us. Our journey began in a moment of excitement: Usually followed by hope and anticipation.

Although excitement was soon followed by a struggle, light and fresh air, a kiss, and warm embrace made us relaxed and calm, for a while.

We are born with a spirit that tries to guide us on this journey. A few are blessed with a strong sense of what paths are most appropriate for them. It is as if they could sing along with Billy Joel as he sang My Life.  “I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life. Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.” These fortunate people seem to have built into their DNA the ability to hear and follow their guides.

On the other hand, many of us seem to live in a fog, wondering if we should take this road or “The Road Not Taken” as suggested by Robert Frost. When we live in a fog of uncertainty it is because we have pushed the guide aside so often that it has become discouraged and lingers in recesses of our mind.

Major trials such as death and illness are reminders that our journey is not to be taken lightly. We are here for a reason. Whether it is to enjoy the beauty around us, help others in small or great ways, or use our gifts and talents in seemingly ordinary ways, does not matter.

If we can hear and follow the voice or guide that is part of our DNA, our journey will have fewer regrets. We will have completed a journey that is personally rewarding.

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

Abraham Lincoln

The Magic of this Journey

               Many authors and ministers are promoting the” get rich” or "you can be anything you desire" theory, if you just want it strongly enough. Visualize it, set your goals, review them regularly, work hard and your dreams will come true. This is not a new philosophy to come from pulpits, books, and philosophers. Epictetus c. (55 - c. 135 AD) said, “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

           Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret is just one of thousands of publications designed to help us be all we can be.  Amazon.com lists over 24,000 books, discs, tapes, etc. on positive thinking.

After reading and trying many ideas in the self-help and positive thinking book, including The Secret, there is a new realization that seems to be coming to me. A quote by Jackson Kiddard, from the early 1900’s provides a good perspective.

Life is not a struggle; the only struggle is your resistance to allowing reality to be exactly as it is. Struggles would disappear if you could allow the comings and goings of life flow through you with the trust that everything that is happening to you is for your best interest, even if you can’t see it right now. Allowing reality to be exactly as it is – this is the first step towards transformation.

Especially after reading The Half Lived Life, by John Lee, and reading the Kiddard quote, I realize there is something to say for not feeling that it is important to have control. Professor John Lee did not say it this way, but from my perspective, it is important to let God (the Spirit, the higher power, guardian angel, or whoever you believe is in control) to be the driver of the bus. When we no longer have to visualize the safe, satisfying arrival of each stop along this journey; we just sense or know that the journey is going to be fine.

When the mind is clear; because of purposeful living, always telling the truth, and taking care of the body and mind, "hearing" or sensing the voice (I use voice for lack of a better word) making suggestions; even on everyday issues seems normal. Following that inner voice is what makes the difference in our lives. Doubts and fears cause us to say "No," sometimes, and this brings negativity to our lives. Faith and trust causes us to say "Yes," sometimes, and this enriches our lives.

Take a moment and think of the times you have received "bright ideas" from the voice and you had to decide whether to ignore the ideas or do something constructive with them: "No.” I will not buy that stock." "No.” I won't turn down that road." “Yes.” "I need to accept this opportunity. When you obeyed the voice, were you blessed? As you listen to the voice, it will become stronger and you will learn to trust it more.

           It seems that the key is recognizing opportunities and not allowing fear to deprive us of success. It has been my experience that pushing through fear has often resulted in blessings and joy that have enriched my life for a lifetime. On the other hand, allowing fear to control my thinking and decision-making has resulted in lost opportunities that had the potential to change my life in positive ways.

          Do not be discouraged. Missed opportunities need not lead to undo regret. They are good learning experiences.  They are mere reminders to be more alert for future opportunities and remind us to conquer fear when it reappears. We can enjoy our journey and continue to give and receive love along the way. Remember, life is not supposed to be a struggle. I wish you joy and blessings as you anticipate opportunities. Enjoy today and anticipate tomorrow.

Let's Stop Bullying

Human beings seem to enjoy participating in hate groups, bullying and gossiping. Whether it’s a politician, someone with a different skin tone, religious belief, language, or sexual preference, it gives some people the excuse too verbally, physically and otherwise abuse others.

Historically we have abused Native Americans, Irish immigrants, Japanese immigrants, German immigrants, Russians, Chinese, etc. Now we are expected to hate Latinos and Muslims. I know I have left out many other groups. One of the most popular groups to hate and beat up is gays. The latest young man was Brandon White in Atlanta. Our government and many church groups tend to buy into the hate group mentality. I wonder why this continues?